Director Dexter Fletcher’s latest effort tries to balance romance, comedy and action but falters in all respects.
They say there are red flags one should look out for before starting a relationship, whether that person is too controlling, has poor personal hygiene, or still texts their ex every day.
Chris Evans’ character in the Apple TV+ film “Ghosted” comes with at least one major red flag, although this being a Hollywood product, being attractive is apparently enough of a redeeming quality.
“Captain America” himself plays a bee farmer, Cole, who meets Ana de Armas’ Sadie at a farmers’ market. The two start arguing about how much effort it takes to care for a plant – a not entirely subtle allegory about relationships – and, after she leaves in anger, a vendor convinces him they were actually flirting.
Cole then runs after Sadie and they end up going out on a day-long date, because that’s how romances realistically work in this world. All seems well and good, until, much to his dismay, she ghosts him thereafter.
Long story short, he manages to track her down and follows her all the way to London, which is where things get interesting, at least on paper: Cole is kidnapped by some arms dealers who think he is a CIA operative known as the Taxman.
It turns out Sadie is the actual Taxman (jeng jeng jeng), and she shows up before he can be tortured and rescues him, which, admittedly, is a nice switcheroo on the ol’ damsel in distress trope.
From then on, poor, hapless stalkery Cole is pulled into Sadie’s world of international espionage. Of paramount importance is that they have to stop the master criminal Leveque (Adrien Brody) from obtaining and selling the passcodes of a deadly super weapon (there’s that MacGuffin plot device again).
Right then: attractive leads? Check. Far-fetched romance? Check. Action sequences with guns blazing and wild chases? Check.
With all those boxes ticked, you’d reckon this film would be a slam dunk for Apple TV+. However, its formulaic unoriginality proves to be its downfall, with viewers and critics calling the plot so generic that an artificial intelligence could have written it.
This marks the third movie Evans and de Armas are in together, having previously co-starred in “Knives Out” and Netflix’s “The Gray Man”. Both are more than capable actors and, let’s face it, aren’t hard on the eye – and yet confoundingly, in “Ghosted”, there is an evident lack of chemistry between them.
To wit: the number of times people around them say “you two should get a room” or point out their sexual tension makes it feel like the movie is trying too hard to convince you of the fact.
It also doesn’t help that, as mentioned above, Cole is a walking red flag. He’s clingy. He sends her dozens of texts over two days despite having only met her once. And he follows her abroad as a grand romantic gesture.
In any other film, he would have been a creep and a suspect, not a charming protagonist.
Brody’s Leveque has the potential to be a moustache-twirling baddie, but given that he works for a buyer who constantly threatens him with death, it undercuts his capability to be truly menacing or terrifying. Still, he’s a snappy dresser, we’ll give him that.
As for the action scenes, director Dexter Fletcher (“Rocketman”) couldn’t help himself but insert too many songs during fights that are meant to be intense. When done well, as in “Deadpool”, it works – but here, more often than not, it simply doesn’t feel earned.
As a result, each time the movie feels like it could evoke actual emotion or a sense of urgency, it’s taken away just as quickly.
That all said, one good thing about “Ghosted” are the entertaining cameos by various celebs who play bounty hunters vying for the price placed on Cole’s head. No spoilers, but see if you can spot them all.
So, what’s the final verdict? Well, if you are looking for a fun movie with exciting action scenes and two charismatic leads who actually have chemistry, you’d be better off watching “Mr and Mrs Smith” instead.
‘Ghosted’ is streaming on Apple TV+.
