How easy is it for you to cheer up your partner, make her smile, and bring out her greatest strengths using just your words? In this post, we’ll cover eleven of the most encouraging phrases you can use to make this birth experience a memorable one. You will know exactly what to say to a woman in labor.
You can breathe easy. Because it will be easier than you think – and you will love how it feels when you can provide safety, encouragement, and make your partner feel capable, just by what you say.
But remember, words are powerful, but they have a limit. It goes without saying that your actions must match what you say. This is especially true when you are supporting a woman in labor.
Are you ready to become a master of the spoken word and support your partner in an incredible birth? Let’s get started.
“I’m here for you.”
Women fundamentally need to feel that their partner is there for them. They want to know that you can handle shit and that you will handle shit. It is very attractive to most women when you say I am here for you and then show up fully. When you do this, you make her feel safe and appreciated. She will respect you at a very high level.
“Imagine…”
Early labor is a time of excitement and nervousness for most women. Labor isn’t too painful… yet. But, they know it is coming. The more you can help her imagine her baby, connect with your baby, and remember that labor is purposeful, the better. So words like ‘imagine how it will feel when you get to hold her’ or ‘imagine how great it will be see her eyes and count her fingers’ etc. are very powerful words to support a woman in early labor.
“I’m proud of you.”
A woman in the throws of labor is doing the most intense thing she has done in her entire life. She may have prepared her own mind with birth affirmations and words to build her up.
But, what she needs from her partner is the most simple and short words of encouragmenent possible. Phrases like: I’m proud of you. You are so beautiful right now. I love you. I believe in you. Those are short and simple – but they will give her the boost she needs more than anything ese.
“Lean on me.”
I have seen this phrase said in dozens of birth. It’s a phrase that some partners intuitively use when they are watching their girl struggle through contractions. It immediately softens a woman who is dealing with stress and pain. It makes her feel safe, cared for, secure. Let her physically lean on you as if you were slow-dancing and your confidence in her will literally seep into her.
“Let’s try something new.”
Look, labor is overwhelming. When it gets hard, one of the most important things to remember is that change makes change. If labor is getting hard, encourage her to try something new. Such as, getting in the shower, going for a walk, or trying a new labor position such as hands and knees. (Cool fact: water is more effective than narcotics at releiving labor pains.)
“Here, drink some water.”
During birth, women won’t be able to take care of themselves the way they normally do. Remind her to take water and food. When you look after her simple physical needs such as food and drink, you help her have the energy she needs to do the work of giving birth.
“It’s okay to cry. It is hard.”
One of the most important needs a woman has during pregnancy and birth is being able to release her emotions. In labor, this usually means crying. If it gets hard, giving her the space to cry and validating the challenge she is in will help her greatly. Let her cry and fully release anything she has built up. Then she will be free to move forwards with a renewed freshness and spirit. Tears are often a good thing.
“Babies always come out.”
You know, a common thing women feel during labor is that it will never end. Helping her refocus on the purpose of the pain, the fact that her baby is coming and that it will be over soon is very important. It will help her stay centered. Emotionally women often feel defeated after being in labor longer than they anticipated. Using a phrase like this can help her have the grit, courage, and faith in herself and her baby to keep going.
On behalf of the birthing woman you are going to support, and all mothers everywhere, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this article. I appreciate that you took the time to listen, and prepare to support your woman through birth. Your words can make her feel appreciated and loved.
When she feels loved and secure, her labor can progress in a more straightforward way. Often women who feel supported and loved have lower pain levels throughout their birth.
Because of you, this birth experience will be special for your partner and can be a beautiful beginning for your child. Thank you for looking into what to say to a woman in labor.
